Jealousy
by Kae Westu
Summary: One-shot, and a very short one. Hawke mourns her mother. Anders wants to send away Fenris who has come to visit her.


Leandra died.

The pain was too much to bear. Hawke couldn't even grasp that her mother was gone forever. Mad thoughts whirled in her mind. If she would have allowed Quentin to live, Leandra would have been given a chance to claim some kind of life as well… But would it have been a life she would have wanted to have? Hawke knew the answer; still, the thought haunted her.

She thanked Anders for standing by her and sent him away for a while. She needed time to think, to feel, to mourn. To curse the Maker for what he took away from her. Sebastian wouldn't have been happy to hear her thoughts.

She heard voices from the staircase but she didn't bother to notice, at least not until they began shouting.

'Get out of my way, mage! I'm here for Hawke, not for you.'

It was Fenris's voice, filled with hate and despise, as usual. Anders replied coolly to him:

'She wishes to see no one.'

'Maybe she does not wish to see _you_. Or did she tell you that you should turn down all visitors?' Fenris asked in a voice sharp as a blade. Anders did not answer, so he continued: 'I thought not.'

'Leave my home. Now.' The mage's tone became firmer and icier.

'_Your_ home?' These two words contained more disdain than before. 'Last time I checked, it was called the Hawke Estate. Or does it really give you any rights that Hawke took pity on you and let you move in?'

It felt almost like a dream, though she knew that they will stop tolerating each other sooner or later. But the timing was not right. In fact, it couldn't have been worse.

She stood up from her bed and headed for the door. Outside, Anders and Fenris went on even more passionately.

'How dare you!'

'Lower that wand, mage. If you start castings spells, I'll kill you on her doorstep.'

'Attack me and you will be the one to die!'

'I do not wish to add to her sorrows. But I'm not leaving without seeing her.'

Hawke opened the door and the men looked up as she appeared.

'There!' The mage told Fenris. 'Now you see her! Make sure to close the door after yourself.'

'Anders, please.' Hawke spoke in a low, sad voice.

'My love.' Anders hurried to her and held her hand, demonstrating to his rival that _he_ was Hawke's chosen one. 'You should be resting, not…'

'It's all right. You can let Fenris in.' she nodded towards the elf. 'You can let in any of our friends. It's all right if they want to… speak about what happened.'

'I've sent away Aveline as well…' Anders felt a sudden need to explain himself.

'I know you want to look after me and I'm grateful for it. But it really is all right.'

'Fine!' the mage sighed. 'I guess I'll go and check my clinic, then. See you later, darling.'

He kissed her mouth very, very gently. Hawke barely returned the kiss. Finally he turned away and hurried out of the estate without even looking at Fenris.

'My apologies for the inconvenience.' The elf looked at her with his intense green eyes. 'I shouldn't have come here.'

'Yet, here you are.' Hawke invited him with a gesture into the bedroom, not even conscious of the movement.

Fenris shook his head. He was not willing to enter the room where normally Anders made love to her… and where he did the same thing not so long ago.

'I do not want to stay.' He hesitated for a moment, and then he added: 'I just wanted to ask if there was anything I could do for you.'

'You have done your best' Hawke replied. She remembered that it was Fenris who killed the murderer in the end.

Fenris sighed.

'I don't know what to say' he said. 'I have no memories of any family. Even if I do have a sister, she is a stranger to me. What should I tell you now, Hawke, except for "Sorry to bother you"?'

'You are not bothering me, Fenris.'

'Aren't I?' he asked. 'There is no need to be polite now, Hawke. If you want to be left alone, just say the word, and I take my leave.'

'No. Stay… please.'

'You are aware that I won't be able to offer you anything comforting, aren't you?'

'I know. But I welcome silence.'

So they stood there, sometimes looking at each other, without talking. Then Fenris walked to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

'Be strong, Hawke' he said. Then he left without another word.


End file.
